hihi! Got really depressed for the past few days as something just happened in the relationship but it makes the relationship stronger. From the relationships of my friends and experiences that i gain from them, different people have different expectation in the relationship. Sometimes, chances of you meeting your soulmate will just slip away once you miss it. There are no way that you will meet the same person again. Once you lose that person who you are not sure whether you will like or even love that person until you really lose him/her. i really miss that i am as strong as yan yi as to me, she is really a strong person who knows what kind of life she wants to live in. for mi, i really don't know what type of life i want to live in. the only thing that i want in life is have a family with someone i love and to travel around the world. i really want to help to make someone's life special and meaningful. if i am able to do so, i think my life will be more meaningful. seriously, i have no idea why i keep asking myself what life is. i think no one is able to answer this question for mi as many people have different aspects of life. if life is so simple, i think people will not have many worries and able to live life to the fullest and peaceful.
hihi!!!i got short-listed for the world skills programme. i am one of the lucky half that able to get in this programme. have to spend lots of time on this programme for 1 1/2 years. haiz. funny thing is that i did not go for the briefing and they still select mi and my friends from my class. haha. lots of committments have to made. haiz. no more time to slack already. sianz. have to wake up early in the morning for every sat for 18 dec onwards. i have 4 distinctions for my exams and the rest are As and Bs. not bad at all. my bro is pround of mi for once. hehe. if i continue to have this type of grades or better, i think i am able to enter the local uni. hehe.
i am at home and abt to finish making christmas present. spent three weeks making it already. haiz. holidaes are boring. i am like hoping school to reopen as i prefer to do some homework instead of waiting for the time to pass by. it is like wasting the natural resources. next year on wards got 7 weeks of holidae. oh no. dun noe wat to do during the next holidae. thinking of working again. hehe. if i get the job, i will have money and time will not be wasted. so it is like win win situation. but my studies..... hmmmmmmmmm. i must think carefully before making the decision. have to save some money first. as i scared i do not have money for buying the presents next month. another hole in my wallet again. haiz. i sick of playing x box and going shopping. Wat else can i do in order for the time to pass by? i think if something realie bad happens to the relationship, i think i can not face the harsh reality as it is too painful for mi to accept something so bad that i can never wish for in my life.
todae is another boring dae at home. watching tv all the way. haha. can't wait for next fridae to come as there are two great things are going to happen on that dae. my results and my bro's engagement. i realie can't wait for my result to be released no matter how bad or good i have done for it. i just want to noe an answer. haha. Life is so fragile!! you may not noe who is next to go include your loved ones. i think i will regret if i did not see or i quarrel with them a dae before they die. i remember the last thing that my grandma told mi a few daes before she died. she told mi to take care of my younger cousins and take my bf there for dinner. i remember that i cried very badly in the funeral. i realie can't bear to lose her. she means realie a lot to mi. she was the one who i find love and care from. she taught mi lots of things including cooking, sewing and the meaning of life. she noes that she was abt to leave us as she told the maid everything abt my uncle's family include their favourite food and bought lots of seafoods. she realie noe her time is up. i realie realie miss her a lot but i believe that she is always there for mi and in my heart.
once again. blogging abt my life since i have nothing to do. what is life? life is all abt experiences that help one grow to a better person or make ppl suffer from hatre and pain? life is everything and it is not an easy path to go for everyone as life is not always smooth as some thought. i think everyone has experience of one sided love except teck chong as he has so many gals liking him and the gals he like will like him for his killer smile and edric whose eyes are so charming that able to charm many gals heart. for my case, i have a lot of one sided love. for example, i have like argo for 8 months before realising that it is not worth it after all. i remember the first time i like the guy who also like mi back, that guy is edric. i remember that he used to look at mi during the recess in sec school as i am able to feel that someone was looking at mi. the first time i walk with him on the way to the bus stop. even though we haven't held hand then, i feel that it was realie sweet of him. those moments were the best moment of my life. as we grow, we have more committments in our lives so we are not able to see each other often. our personalities will change as we get older so we are unable to be like in the past. however, i am willing to accept it but i dun noe whether he is willingly to accept mi for the new person i am now........... . i am going to be 18 in abt 4 months time. to you, it may seems very long but in my world, the time passing in a very fast rate. i feel that life seems too short for mi to do anything that make my life wonderful. going to prepare my dinner and making tempura myself. trying to pamper myself once by eating deep fried stuff. haha.
this is taken from my sec school with my friends after the talentime on last monday.
the one below is desmond's idea of lying on our legs. hehe. it was great fun back then. hehe.
having sleepless nites nowadays. i dun noe why. it is like before i sleep, i will have a fear of knowing what will happen on the next dae. i am realie afraid to face what will happen to my loved ones or my relationship. my mom always cry as my bro scolded my mom for not planning ahead of the wedding invitation. my family start to fall apart. wedding suppose to bring happiness to the family. however, for my case, my family are depressed becos of the wedding.if another bad thing is going to happen in my life, i think i am unable to take anymore. i think i just break down and cry. my bro told my mom to divorce with my father due to my father's bad gambling habit. if that happens one dae, i think i have no one to lean on. i will have no one to look up to. no one is able to give mi moral supports when i need it. seriously, i dun think love is onli all abt a feeling. it is realie abt commitment and determination. Feeling is just a thing that you may have it now but may not have it in the future.for mi, i dun care abt forever together. i am just happy that i am able to be by your side even thought it is just a short period of time like a month. i am just glad that you are by my side once. i onli able to hope that you may find happiness and able to be my your side forever. that is enuff for mi. i think i am just a gal who is living in the past while ppl are living in the future and working ahead. i just like to think the life that i have in the past. how carefree and warmth i was. i was able to be cheerful without worrying much of life and studies. that was just such an innocent life i had but i can't have it again. i just a lonely person standing in a desert, not knowing wat to do abt my life. i realie feel like just run away. everynite i had to cry before i sleep as life has given mi more pain than happiness. nothing in my life satisifymy desires in life except having edric by my side.
{*She Loves*}
Chicken Pasta from New York New York
Dim Sum (Ha Kua and Fu Pi Juan)
Sun tan with friends
my darling
my friends
Travelling around the world
{*She Hates*}
people who backstab me
people who blame me for nothing
People who thinks that they are always right
{*Sweeties*}
gwen;
wen xu;
keshia;
sing yen;
sing wei;
shawn ang;
jiaxin;
wei ye;
siao ying;
Jee Cheng;
Adelynn;
Kong Chian;
kai ying;
liang wei;
Shi Qi;
fabian;
Irene;
lay yuen;
yu yin;
Pei Ying;
Salleh;
Marie;
kaiting;
Benedict;
kristie;
desmond;
yi hui;
alex;
Brenda;
Janice;
Joanne;
Kim Guan aka Guan Guan;
Sharon;
Loh hu;
Si Yin