20th May 2006.... me and en en 21 May 2006.....
That's the day that we celebrated en en's birthday. It was the first time i spent so much money but it all worth while. We had the finest cakes at a bakery shop at paragon, japanese food at liang court and finally had a few glasses of wines at asylum ( clarke quaky). Firstly, the cakes are really superb and they have the nicest new york cheesecake. i am so in love with cheesecakes. However, the price is also like wow. A slice cost around 6 bucks but it is worth that price. may be once in a while i shall pamper myself to have a slice. haha. fattening but nice and gave me a feeling of fufilling something great in my life. haha. After that, we went straight to clarke quay but we had to have something before we start drinking as you will get a belly if you are drinking with an empty stomach. The japanese restaurant seems quite famous and i found out that 4 crab claws cost 98 bucks. wow. thankfully, the dishes that we order are not so expensive and yet it tastes so good. Initially we wanted to go zouk as it has the ambience that en en likes. The admission fee is super expensive as it cost at least 20 bucks for each person during weekends. wow. Finally, we settled down with asylum which is a pub with a bottle of white wine from chile and a basket of fries. The price for it is like 54 bucks. wow. each of us had 2-3 glasses of wines. worth it. all of us got so high and happy. haha. For me, i got high only for 2 hours. haha. After the drink, i walked with jian yang to great world and tok a lot of stuffs. it is the first time that i tok so much to him. We walked past zouk and it does not seem as happening as i thought. haha.
xue yi and I
went to celebrate doreen's birthday with wen xu and they all. We settled our dinner at curry flavour and the food there tasted great. I had lots of fun with them at the restaurant as seeing what silly things that desmond done. Almost saw salleh's gf but just that we don't have the fate to know each other. After that, we played pool till 10 pm and walked to the nearest bus stop to take bus home. On the way, desmond has the urge to have ice cream haha. But the weird thing is that the birthday ger treating us ice cream. There was a silly game that desmond suggested but it sounds fun. It goes like judge a ger's appearance from 1 to 10. whoever give the same grade has to hit that person. haha. doreen and i tok about our past relationship. it seems like what we always tok about lately. haha. may be we are 2 gers with the same fate. haha.
my long awaiting weekends are here. I really enjoyed myself last night as having fun with my friends in the welcoming party. Through the party, i finally found out there are not much left handed among bmeians. So am i consider a special one? How funny is that Fu hai and i know the stupid rumour yet his colleague still making fun of him every friday.
Lastly, i was witnessing how far a guy can do to find a ger who he truly love yet he can not do anything to change her mind. It was pretty scary. However, it reminded me that was i like that when i was with edric? did my possessive actions make him feel scared of me? Those are the questions that will always remained unanswered and untouched by anyone. I am no longer being shaken by anything about them since i am willing to give them my blessings.
Giving myself some time until end of this month. Time to surpress my feelings for him and letting myself go on with my friends who will always there for me. I have thought of going to germany with stella in order for me to get away from singapore to forget about my past and present. Silly of me to think that way. The reason that i did not go with her is my family. i am an overprotected or you can say pampered girl. Everything in the past seems overpowering in my life that sometimes may affect my performance in studies and work even become "soft" and fragile more than usual. I may sound miserable but at least that i am the only one feeling it while seeing others happy. I will still have that smile on my face no matter what as i do not like to let anyone to see the sad side of me.
may be what my bro say is rite. i am just too weak in emotional control and usually get defeated by it.
I got to see him with her in school around at night. what he said should i believe? what is in the past will always remain as past or should i get what i believe in? i believe that i have no chance as i am not like her who is smart and proactive. May be i am not the one for him. I wonder why i keep looking back to those that i am unable to have. i really do like him. Am i giving a second chance to make miracles happen? i want to treasure him and the memories he created. I always want the simplest thing to be the sweetest one. Am i being silly or possessive? I keep going ahead while my mind is still in the past. I guess he will never understand how i feel now. may be it is karma. what you did to him is return back to you the same way. may be we are not just fated to be together afterall. If a person who is meant for you, no matter how long you wait for him, he will still be back to you. I hope that sentence is forever true. i pray hard, i pray for good. hoping what i hope for will come true. i simply wanted to cry when i saw both of them together. God, what do you want me to do after seeing them? you want me to move on with my life is it or stay in the present to hope that he will look back??
been sick lately. having a bad sore throat at the start and it slowly turn to a cough and now slight fever. i have been thinking a lot. you say you like me and totally have no feelings for your ex a few months ago. i actually believe in you as a friend. However, it is a wrong decision for me to trust you. you like me and love her as well. do you know that she is my good friend and how could you do this to her? The type of guy i dislike the most is a guy who is two timing. I always believe that no one can have two gers in their hearts. it is pretty impossible unless you are a flicker minded guy. I am angry as how can you do this to my friend. why asking me to be your gf when you know so well that you still have feelings for her? why don't you continue loving her and treat her well so she will go back to you? i have enuff of this type of thing. i want to be treated and liked as who i am instead of being needed as a substitute. I know how the feeling of being treated as a substitute as i was once like that. i do not want two people to be unhappy due to a desperate need of a relationship.
w
{*She Loves*}
Chicken Pasta from New York New York
Dim Sum (Ha Kua and Fu Pi Juan)
Sun tan with friends
my darling
my friends
Travelling around the world
{*She Hates*}
people who backstab me
people who blame me for nothing
People who thinks that they are always right
{*Sweeties*}
gwen;
wen xu;
keshia;
sing yen;
sing wei;
shawn ang;
jiaxin;
wei ye;
siao ying;
Jee Cheng;
Adelynn;
Kong Chian;
kai ying;
liang wei;
Shi Qi;
fabian;
Irene;
lay yuen;
yu yin;
Pei Ying;
Salleh;
Marie;
kaiting;
Benedict;
kristie;
desmond;
yi hui;
alex;
Brenda;
Janice;
Joanne;
Kim Guan aka Guan Guan;
Sharon;
Loh hu;
Si Yin