i shall blog before going to school to help out in the preparation work for the camp. dun know what will happen in this camp. anyway, school is starting real soon like in a week's time. finally, what i have been waiting for. it is a new semester with lots of stress as well as fun. lots of projects that is able to make my brain go crazy but i like to do things under pressure. it seems like a huge challenge but i know that i can overcome. when my result got better than i expected, i feel that i have done something great. haha. that's how it prevents me to think a lot abt life. studying is the onli thing that prevent me from thinking of him and knowing that he no longer is mine. it still hurts no matter that it has been more than 6 months. why i sinking deeper and deeper each time? may be i am taking it too seriously? hope that i am to move on at the end of poly life even though i know that it is kinda long but i know that i can do it. i just take it longer than he does. not expecting what i may become in the future or i will meet anyone special. just hope that i am to do what i suppose to do in my life for the next 6 or 7 years. do my best in my studies and earns a lot of money to make my family and i happy. putting love aside for this long period of time. after celebrating of my 24th birthday, then i will start find my special one and it is time to know who is real to me. may be it is a good thing that he has left me. if someone meant to be with me, no matter what he will come back to me or search for me. thinking that i finally should let go this rock deep in my heart. simply thanks for being my first love and things that you had done for me yet i did not appreciate it then. hoping tat you will be happy for who you are with now and don't do things that you will ever regret. that's what i hope for you. i should stop thinking of him after my this holidae ends completely. have to do well in my studies and attachment for the semester after next. have to work my butt away. no love from a special someone, it is alrite. did not do well for your studies = no future ahead of you. in 5 months time, i am 19th. have to behave like a mature person with a small kid deep in her heart. no use of pondering something that is over for so long. this type of things comes so quickly as no one will expect it to come. while those hope for it to come, will not having it as soon as they hope for. so better start looking ahead being a bioengineer or tissue engineer. have to go for the camp so tata and i shall blog abt it 4 daes later after having a lot of sleep. may be uploading the pics for you guys to see it.
i am so tired. reached home like past midnite ytd. can i sae that i was early to reach home. haha. had bbq with bme peepz last nite. had quite great fun there. i played BASKETBALL. did not hear me wrong. i did play with the gers. haha. did not have much last nite. i will upload the pics real soon when i have all the pics and the time to do it. haha. going to have a camp real soon. haha. i want to know how my time table is. i hope dun have a lot of 9 to 5. haha. i dun want to stay in school for so long. i have decided. i am going to take aem 2 since it is able to help me in furthering my studies. hope that i will do well in the aem 2. going to spend the last week of the holidaes in staying at home. too tired to go out so often. may be i will start to revise my work if the notes are ready for sale. haha. i want to study. haha. how come i like to study lately ar? hmmmm. later going to jian yang's house with en en and xue yi. haha. hang around for a while. haha. then fridae, sat and sun off. may be monday i will be staying at home too. haha. then the big 4 days which is camp daes. haha. then sat and sun off. haha.
blog before i go out. haha. thinking that i am not sure whether what have i done for the past few weeks of the holidaes. may be i should stop everything now onwards. it must be a wishful thinking of mine since the first dae. my face seems to start peeling soon. lots of dead skin all over my face now. have to start work a lot harder as i really want to get into an university no matter what. no more time for me to play around. poly life seems like going to end real soon even though we still have like 1 1/2 more years to go. it still feels like a very short period of time. liking and waiting for someone is really very tiring. hoping that i am able to do well in the things that i am good at. may be i am not good in anything. haha. hoping to have fun in the bbq at the alohal loyang and the camp the week after next. then i shall have a week for myself to prepare everything before school really starts and buying lecture notes. haiz.
i feel the death will bring sadness and regrets when you know that someone who you hold so closely next to your heart is a step closer to death. i have lost my beloved grandma who was a person who knew that she was about to pass away. until now, i still remember each word that she last spoken to me. everytime i look at her pic, tears will simply just rolled down my cheeks. why would god want to take such a wonderful lady away from ppl who loves her deeply? as time passed by, i know the reason by god is doing it. a reason that i can truly explained by words. she is always my guardian angel and i still love her a lot in my heart. whenever i did well for my paper, i will pray to her and tell her everything. her death is simply peaceful. i still remember when she about to die, she has a smile on her face so peacefully. i know that i should not cried at her death bed but i just could not tell it. anyway, i just hope that lala is able to take care of herself. i will always be there for her no matter what. i dun want anything to happen to her and her family as she is like a sister to me. i dun want to see her cry. i really dun want. i dun want every single of my friends to cry. sometimes i rather be the one who is sad instead of them as i noe that they dun deserve it.
Your Personality Is
You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented.Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules.
You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader.You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you.
A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do.You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up.
In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly.
At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions.
With others, you tend to be polite and formal.
As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself.
On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!The'>http://www.blogthings.com/threequestionpersonalitytest/">The Three Question Personality Test
It's that who i realie am??The Keys to Your Heart 
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.
Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.What'>http://www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/">What Are The Keys To Your Heart?How You Are In Love 
You tend to take more than give in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You're secretly hoping your partner will change for you.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howareyouinlovequiz/">How Are You In Love?
trying to get back all the emails that i have stored in my old com. hehe. all the last bits of the memories of the previous relationship i had. looking forward to a new one but not any time soon as i have lots of things to do. the memories of it are soo sweet to me. haha. memories that i will really cherish no matter what. liking someone is pretty painful sometimes as you may not know whether the person will be having the same feeling as you. you have to always guess here and there. the best thing to do for me know is start thinking what i should do to move towards this goal of mine. a simple ger with huge dream. haha. anyway, i should have lots of fun now as i am young. haha. i am going to be an adult soon so better enjoy the a few years of being a young adult or teenager first. haha.
after reading thru my blog, i found out that i have written a lot about love and stuffs. it shows that i am always so contented with my life. memories, memories. they are so wonderful moments that you have back in your mind. spending moments with anyone seems so special to me. no matter who they are, the moments are so wonderful. i am waiting for the guy who is just specially meant for me. haha. anyway, thinking of going into the uni first. if i do well in uni, i will continue doing master. haha. more certs= more salary. haha. for now, i think i have to be single for a while. haha. to enjoy singlihood when i am young. haha. i can not believe that i am going to be 19 about 5 months. haha. time pass so fast. haha.
Your Blogging Type is Kind and Harmonious 
Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage 
How You Life Your Life 
How Do You Live Your Life?How You Are In Love
In relationships, you tend to be a bit selfish.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.How Are You In Love?Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover 
You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorableEven a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's lifeBy giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover.
Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.What Kind of Seducer Are You?You Are The Opposite of Machiavellian 
How Machiavellian Are You?You're a Romantic Kisser 
What Kind of Kisser Are You?You Are an Emo Rocker! 
What Kind of Rocker Are You?What Your Sleeping Position Says You are calm and rational.You are also giving and kind - a great friend.You are easy going and trusting.However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games. What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?
CoUnTdOwN tO rElEaSe Of ReSuLtS: 5 days
went to have steamboat at en en's house. haha. the foods were great. haha. did have a bit of fun at her house. i pray god to take good care of you. i pray him to give you good health and let you be safe from everything. i pray for him to let you have love that you realie deserved to have. i know i am greedy to ask so much from god but it is like i hope that you will be happy and safe. having meeting on mondae. not sure which day of next week going out with gwen. going to sentosa on sat. have lots of things planned out for me next week. haha. going to sun tan man. haha. loving it. haha.
{*She Loves*}
Chicken Pasta from New York New York
Dim Sum (Ha Kua and Fu Pi Juan)
Sun tan with friends
my darling
my friends
Travelling around the world
{*She Hates*}
people who backstab me
people who blame me for nothing
People who thinks that they are always right
{*Sweeties*}
gwen;
wen xu;
keshia;
sing yen;
sing wei;
shawn ang;
jiaxin;
wei ye;
siao ying;
Jee Cheng;
Adelynn;
Kong Chian;
kai ying;
liang wei;
Shi Qi;
fabian;
Irene;
lay yuen;
yu yin;
Pei Ying;
Salleh;
Marie;
kaiting;
Benedict;
kristie;
desmond;
yi hui;
alex;
Brenda;
Janice;
Joanne;
Kim Guan aka Guan Guan;
Sharon;
Loh hu;
Si Yin