[---~*My Perfect Love*~---]

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

{*thinking of the past*}

i shall blog before going to school to help out in the preparation work for the camp. dun know what will happen in this camp. anyway, school is starting real soon like in a week's time. finally, what i have been waiting for. it is a new semester with lots of stress as well as fun. lots of projects that is able to make my brain go crazy but i like to do things under pressure. it seems like a huge challenge but i know that i can overcome. when my result got better than i expected, i feel that i have done something great. haha. that's how it prevents me to think a lot abt life. studying is the onli thing that prevent me from thinking of him and knowing that he no longer is mine. it still hurts no matter that it has been more than 6 months. why i sinking deeper and deeper each time? may be i am taking it too seriously? hope that i am to move on at the end of poly life even though i know that it is kinda long but i know that i can do it. i just take it longer than he does. not expecting what i may become in the future or i will meet anyone special. just hope that i am to do what i suppose to do in my life for the next 6 or 7 years. do my best in my studies and earns a lot of money to make my family and i happy. putting love aside for this long period of time. after celebrating of my 24th birthday, then i will start find my special one and it is time to know who is real to me. may be it is a good thing that he has left me. if someone meant to be with me, no matter what he will come back to me or search for me. thinking that i finally should let go this rock deep in my heart. simply thanks for being my first love and things that you had done for me yet i did not appreciate it then. hoping tat you will be happy for who you are with now and don't do things that you will ever regret. that's what i hope for you. i should stop thinking of him after my this holidae ends completely. have to do well in my studies and attachment for the semester after next. have to work my butt away. no love from a special someone, it is alrite. did not do well for your studies = no future ahead of you. in 5 months time, i am 19th. have to behave like a mature person with a small kid deep in her heart. no use of pondering something that is over for so long. this type of things comes so quickly as no one will expect it to come. while those hope for it to come, will not having it as soon as they hope for. so better start looking ahead being a bioengineer or tissue engineer. have to go for the camp so tata and i shall blog abt it 4 daes later after having a lot of sleep. may be uploading the pics for you guys to see it.

*Kissed My Love* @ | 2:20 PM