Feeling more and more miserable lately. I dun noe why. everything is like in the past yet the wound seems hurt even more lately. i thought i can forget abt the love that he had given me and i able to find someone who love me more than him. Sadly, i know a few guys want that chance to do so. my heart just won't listen. it kept telling me that he is the best. i really miss the old him. where is he? i have lost that person for so long. Will i find that person again? kept crying for no reason? when a person cry, it means that she do not know what to do. Now, i really dun noe what i should do about my life. i want to stop crying but i just can't. I think i am experiencing what i had been through last year. It seems start all over again. Do not have any appetitie and slp. kept dreaming of the past.
I even cry when i am dreaming. i really want to be strong. i am so hurt right now. do not know how to express myself. all alone now. crying without anyone here. i am getting deeper into my own world. a world that only has misery. Lost the feeling of true love and unable to love anyone again. I truly want to give one of my admirers a chance just that i am scared to be hurt again as i know i am unable to take it anymore.
I am no longer the sunshine ger that i was two months ago. I thought getting good grades and work done will make me happy. However, it does not give me what i want. If i am able to go back to the past, i really want to change everything such as did not say yes to him. May be i will be happier now. love really is a bittersweet thing. Out of sudden, i felt so lonely but i dun want to be with anyone becos of that. i want to be with someone that i have feelings for.
I shall blog something before i sleep. Things seems better many because my great grandaunt visiting me. Mood swings i suppose. I don't know why i tend to freak out whenever someone confessed to me. I am not myself lately. unable to focus on anything like today. did not really listen to what my colleague try to tell or help me. Believe that my friends have found their ones and i am so happy for them. Usually they are the one who are so envious of me and it is the vice versa.
my heart always seems shattered and the past memories may seems wonderful but it seems more like a burden now as it is trying to push me backward more when i really want to go forward. You know the feeling of like stuck in the middle of nowhere in life? totally clueless what my future is. Will i be contented when the right one is here? i am so afraid to make any further mistakes as i used my head to solve relationship problems instead of with my heart. May be what gwen said is right. Past relationship will be burdens in a way. Imagine a scenerio: you accidentally stepped into a pool of quick sand. no matter how much you try to struggle, you sank deeper. that's how i truly feel in the past few days.
Attachment seems getting worse and worse as i always make mistakes and seems useless. may be simply sae i am a useless person. Will anyone rememeber my existence when i vanished from the surface of the earth? i know a lot of people care for me but i really need someone who truly able to be there to give me everything i always try to search for in a person and truly understand me for who i really deep down inside. Whenever i have problems especially emotional ones, i still smile as i dun want people to worry about me and lost in my own world.
It takes really a long time for me to stand up again. i shall persevere and determined to succeed it by the end of my poly life. i shall miss all of them when poly ends and again lost contact with all of my poly friends. it seems like i lost old friends when i am in a new school or can i say a new phase of life.
finally blog after i dun noe how many days. hardly able to find time to write. Lots of things have come and pass by. too much for my head to contain. I am so envious of homosexual couples in a way as regardless how the society is treating them, they are still standing strong next to each other. That is what i called true love. No matter how hard the life lies ahead for you, you still with that person who you truly believe that you will have happiness with.
i did quite a lot of work but my mind keep thinking of the past that i still dwelling myself in. may be i have lots of regrets in my past. why i did not think carefully before making any actions that i know i will regret? may be i was too young at that time.
That are so many things for me to do to prepare my future but my future seems more blurry then before. Anyway, no matter what future holds for me, i , new michelle, will face it strongly.
i want to watch a lot of movies such as X men 3 and lotsa more. i think either watch it with friends or may be alone. haha.
FinaLLy haVe A DaY aT HoMe!!!! YaY. I Am ReStLeSs AnD TiReD LaTeLy. LoTs of THinGs cRosS My MiNd. I NeeD soMeOne wHo reaLLy TreAts Me WeLL. JuSt that i dUn NeeD a BaStARd to sPoiLt My LiFe. If LiKiNg YoU iS MakiNg Me LoSinG My SiGhT, i aDmIt TaT i Am BLind To LiKe YoU. MiSeRaBLe i ALwAYs FeeL. CLeaRiNg aLL My SoRRoW and MiSeRy, I aM GoiNg to WaLk AwAy WitH fEeLiNgs i HaVe FoR YoU. I wAnT YoU oNLy BuT i KnOw TaT i cAn'T haVe YoU. EveRyOne ThInks I Am BeiNg sTupId Of LikIng YoU BuT i DoN'T ReaLLy CaRe TaT mUcH as I JuSt WaNt tO Be WiTh YoU aNd OnLy YoU.
Angel Faerie WereWolf Mermaid Demon Dragon You scored as Soccer/Football Jocks Soccer/Football Jocks Skater Boys Preppy Fellows Gothic Boys
You scored as Angel.
Angel: Angels are the guardians of all things, from the smallest ant to the tallest tree. They give inspiration, love, hope, and positive emotion. They live among humans without being seen. They are the good in all things, and if you feel alone, don't fear. They are always watching. Often times they merely stand by, whispering into the ears of those who feel lost. They would love nothing more then to reveal themselves, but in today's society, this would bring havoc and many unneeded questions. Give thanks to all things beautiful, for you are an Angel.92% 75% 58% 50% 25% 8%
What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
created with QuizFarm.com80% 65% 40% 25%
Your Ideal Boyfriend
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You scored as yeah u r but u shud get ur eyesight checked. u r a fukin bombshell but u just dint c it, tho unblind ppl do! so u might consider the idea of gettin ur eyes checked... or maybe u hav an evil mirror who reflects the opposite of wut is being seen but deep inside u kno ur better lookin than others...
r u hot but u just dont realize u r? created with QuizFarm.com |
You scored as head over heels. well, it's official. you're in love. and i do mean in love. so go tell the lucky guy/gal. don't just sit around on your bum and wait for them to call you. let them know how you feel. but whatever you do, it's for sure. you're in love. way in love......
are you in love...or is it just infatuation? created with QuizFarm.com |
You scored as One they want but can't have. You are the kind of girl that guys want but they know they can't have you. Your not easy they love your daredevil attitude and totally awesome style.
What do guys think of you? created with QuizFarm.com |
You scored as Good Boy.
What kinda guy are u into??? created with QuizFarm.com |
What kind of Angel are you??(PICS) created with QuizFarm.com |
< Nice Outgoing Fun Dramatic Immature Shy meanYou scored as Outgoing. You outgoing and you have a very friendly personality. 100% 100% 63% 50% 38% 38% 0%
Hippy Athletic Tomboy Popular Bitch Nerdy Girl Slut Preppy Girl Goth Loser75% 75% 63% 31% 25% 25% 13% 0%
What type of girl are you?!!
created with QuizFarm.com You scored as Athletic Tomboy.
What type of girl are you?!!
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{*She Loves*}
Chicken Pasta from New York New York
Dim Sum (Ha Kua and Fu Pi Juan)
Sun tan with friends
my darling
my friends
Travelling around the world
{*She Hates*}
people who backstab me
people who blame me for nothing
People who thinks that they are always right
{*Sweeties*}
gwen;
wen xu;
keshia;
sing yen;
sing wei;
shawn ang;
jiaxin;
wei ye;
siao ying;
Jee Cheng;
Adelynn;
Kong Chian;
kai ying;
liang wei;
Shi Qi;
fabian;
Irene;
lay yuen;
yu yin;
Pei Ying;
Salleh;
Marie;
kaiting;
Benedict;
kristie;
desmond;
yi hui;
alex;
Brenda;
Janice;
Joanne;
Kim Guan aka Guan Guan;
Sharon;
Loh hu;
Si Yin
