I shall blog something before i sleep. Things seems better many because my great grandaunt visiting me. Mood swings i suppose. I don't know why i tend to freak out whenever someone confessed to me. I am not myself lately. unable to focus on anything like today. did not really listen to what my colleague try to tell or help me. Believe that my friends have found their ones and i am so happy for them. Usually they are the one who are so envious of me and it is the vice versa.
my heart always seems shattered and the past memories may seems wonderful but it seems more like a burden now as it is trying to push me backward more when i really want to go forward. You know the feeling of like stuck in the middle of nowhere in life? totally clueless what my future is. Will i be contented when the right one is here? i am so afraid to make any further mistakes as i used my head to solve relationship problems instead of with my heart. May be what gwen said is right. Past relationship will be burdens in a way. Imagine a scenerio: you accidentally stepped into a pool of quick sand. no matter how much you try to struggle, you sank deeper. that's how i truly feel in the past few days.
Attachment seems getting worse and worse as i always make mistakes and seems useless. may be simply sae i am a useless person. Will anyone rememeber my existence when i vanished from the surface of the earth? i know a lot of people care for me but i really need someone who truly able to be there to give me everything i always try to search for in a person and truly understand me for who i really deep down inside. Whenever i have problems especially emotional ones, i still smile as i dun want people to worry about me and lost in my own world.
It takes really a long time for me to stand up again. i shall persevere and determined to succeed it by the end of my poly life. i shall miss all of them when poly ends and again lost contact with all of my poly friends. it seems like i lost old friends when i am in a new school or can i say a new phase of life.
{*She Loves*}
Chicken Pasta from New York New York
Dim Sum (Ha Kua and Fu Pi Juan)
Sun tan with friends
my darling
my friends
Travelling around the world
{*She Hates*}
people who backstab me
people who blame me for nothing
People who thinks that they are always right
{*Sweeties*}
gwen;
wen xu;
keshia;
sing yen;
sing wei;
shawn ang;
jiaxin;
wei ye;
siao ying;
Jee Cheng;
Adelynn;
Kong Chian;
kai ying;
liang wei;
Shi Qi;
fabian;
Irene;
lay yuen;
yu yin;
Pei Ying;
Salleh;
Marie;
kaiting;
Benedict;
kristie;
desmond;
yi hui;
alex;
Brenda;
Janice;
Joanne;
Kim Guan aka Guan Guan;
Sharon;
Loh hu;
Si Yin