[---~*My Perfect Love*~---]

Monday, November 20, 2006

{*things will not the be the same again*}

It has been a long time since i last blog about my life and people around me. Things have changed quite a bit compared to the past. I had a swim with my cousins, Perrie (10 years old)and Brandon (4 years old). Everything was pretty okay last night. However there is a lachrymose moment or situation. My cousin, perrie speaks every single word about the past and shows how much he miss my granny. I am proud to say that he learnt how to move on with his life with memories of my granny. He always think about her. I truly understand how he felt at that moment as I really breakdown and the first person who i think of is always her. How could such beautiful woman who leave us so early? My memory of her always stays at the day i last went to her house which is 2 days before she died. She keep telling me to take care and always visit my cousins whenever i have a chance to do so. She is the one who truly taught me the way i have to face the path i wanted to go and the only person who really understand me as a special individual. When he said about the moment of her, i really always wanted to cry but have to put on a strong front so that i could protect this cousin of mine. The only way he could ever sleep is holding the pillow he had since a toddler and it is made by her. The amount of missing someone is so unimaginable. I did not really think that kids will learn to miss someone. Since my grandpa and her deaths, a house, which always filled with kids running around and adults update each other about what they have done and gossiping, turned to a deserted house that has no memories of them. Perrie truly miss cousins, aunts and uncles coming to his house and warmth he misses so much. I thought he has grown up and learnt what independent is. I truly forgot a promise that i have made with my late granny. I have neglect him and his feelings through this year. The promise has become like a last responsibility she hope i will fulfil it. The one sentence he ever say to me yesterday that truly make me cried which is "michelle jie jie, please visit me when you are free." It may sound like i am oversensitive but i really feel that he needs me to be there for him once in a while. He still remember the moments that we spent with my first love that i truly forgot about it. The most shocking part is that he could describe every details that day happened. I believe that he misses everyone who cross his path in the past. I did not know my first love made such an impact on him. Perrie thought i have a korean boyfriend now. so hilarious when i saw his reaction of his brother told him that. I believe he will grown up as a "rare" type of guy who truly sentimental and psevere to the end. I really admire him as i as an adult could not do so yet. Always have a moment of giving up. From now on, i should start to have the same mindset as him. A kid who is so inspirational. Hope everything good may happen to him. I saw my aunt punishing my cousin for bullying his sister by hitting her with a cable. I admired him as he did not shed a single tear even though there are hitting marks on his skin. I feel a trace of bias towards his sister and she will be pretty much overprotected or spoilt in the future. She is the one who disturb her brother first. Why the punishment has to be him instead of both of them? The way my aunt hit my cousin was intolerable as the mother will pull her son's hair to ask her son to look at her ears. I know that i have no right to say anything. The way previous generation punish their kids will not be applied for the generation after me. I want them to learn from their mistakes instead of having the hatre in them. Things i have learnt from my experience is that nothing is forever and we have to accept life as it comes instead of hoping this and that will remain the same as the past. Learnt to move on with lots of happy memories that i have.

*Kissed My Love* @ | 10:55 AM